I crunch through the frozen snow on the porch and squint up to the sky, clear, dark and cold. A 3/4 moon silently judges me as I make my way to the garage. The thermometer on the porch checks in at ten degrees below zero. It’s hard to breathe the subzero air. It’s like tiny needles piercing my lungs.
What in the world am I doing, leaving my warm nest at 6:45am? Why did I pick today to be the day to overcome inertia, to start a journey of going to the gym every day, no excuses.
And as I breathe that question, the answer already settles in: because if I can make it to the gym on a day like today, I can make it to the gym any day. No excuses.
It’s too cold, its too dark, I’m too tired, my feet hurt, my feet don’t hurt but they feel like concrete blocks, it’s too early, it’s too late, and on and on the excuses pile up.
I’m tired of the excuses. So I decided to just get over it and get to the gym. Everyday, no excuses.
Maybe that’s too ambitious. Maybe I’m setting myself up for failure.
But just maybe it will work. And maybe I’m setting myself up for success. At least I have to try.
Because if I don’t try, I’ll get what I’ve always got.
Disappointment and failure. And I’m really tired of that.
As I settle in the car, I have an out of body feeling, like is this really me, driving to the gym through the polar vortex. The same woman, who, during the last polar vortex two weeks ago wouldn’t leave her bed.
I enter the gym and it is surprisingly warm and cozy feeling, like a womb. After 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill, my feet are loosening up and no longer feel like concrete blocks. I experience what may be an endorphin rush. Now I am enjoying the music and the movement.
Forty-five minutes of movement and its time to head home. Leaving the gym, standing a little taller, almost smiling.
The sun is rising, cars move along the roads shrouded in exhaust fumes in the polar air. Like a migration of dinosaurs, confused dinosaurs, going in every direction. Trying to escape the cold.
My shrouded, huddled dino-mobile chugs along on one of the migration routes and squeaks back home. You know its cold when the snow squeaks.
No disappointment today, I am victorious today. I have overcome a mountain of inertia.
lifefullyinhabited 