Desperation Gardening

It’s desperation time. What with the rain, rain and more rain and then cold and then frost and then hot and humid, and more rain, I had trouble getting out to plant some vegetable seeds.

I ran outside this afternoon and dragged a garden tool, not sure which one, through the dirt and ripped open some seed packets. Whimsically threw seeds in a trench and covered them so quickly because, guess what, it started to rain, again.

I’m embarrassed to even call myself a gardener doing this. I hope nobody saw me.

I’m not sure if anything will grow that I planted. And now I’m aware that I forgot to buy cucumber seeds. Oh well.

If every farmer waited for the optimal time and weather to plant, we humans probably wouldn’t ever have any food to eat.
So, with hope and desperation, I join the ranks of professional and amateur growers, and we just toss in seeds and let the proccess begin.

This garden isn’t going to look pretty with nice neat rows and stakes and string and cute little seed markers. Oh no way.
This isn’t a “Pinterest” garden. This is reality.

And I am thankful we have farmer’s markets and grocery stores to fill in the gaps. I am not self-sustaining. Not yet.

Blessings and happy growing

Ode to “54” (Happy Birthday to Me!)

I’m fifty-four, I’m fifty-four
that’s important if you’re keeping score.

I can’t complain, (but I’m sick of rain)
Every day brings a brand new pain.

I’ve seen the good, I’ve seen the bad
The ugly is now showing up in my flab!

So,I go to the gym to get fit and toned.
Then I come home to gripe and moan.

I’m fifty-four, I’m fifty-four
This life I live isn’t always
what I was hoping for.

I’ve seen the good and I’ve been blessed.
There are still days when I feel stressed.

This body isn’t what it used to be,
but I have a shiny soul pouring out of me.

God is making me new
one day at a time.
Someone pour me a tonic and lime!

I’m fifty-four, I’m fifty-four
and I’m hoping for many many more.

Happy Birthday to me!

Turning a corner

Well, I think I’ve turned a corner on the whole fitness thing. Finally the weight is creepy downward. Finally, I’m seeing progress. VERY slow, but progress anyway. My trainer says they call it “slow-cooking”.

I’m a long term project, that’s for sure!

I feel better every time I work out. I feel crummy on the days I don’t work out. I am less intimidated when I go to the gym. I know some of the weight machines I can use without looking like a rookie.

I’m getting comfortable sweating.

So this is progress.

And I got to sit in the sunshine today drinking iced tea!

The weather is making progress very slowly toward spring.

We are all slow-cooking these days.

Getting it to work all at the same time

Well, the past couple weeks into this fitness thing have me more than frustrated. Do you remember the last time you tried to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time? That sort of summarizes my fitness regime the last couple weeks. Some days I do the “food” part really great and then don’t work out. Some days the work outs are fantastic and then I get off track with the “food” part.
Sadly, the scale does reflect all this uncoordination. And frustration is flirting with me to be a best friend.

Today, appropriately, my bible reading in Philippians chapter 4 led me to some new hope.
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in
any and every situation
whether well fed
or hungry
whether having plenty or
in want.
I can do all things through
Him
who gives me
strength.” (Phil 4:11-13 NIV)

I have always read those verses with the idea of “wordly goods” in mind with the whole “plenty” and “in want”.

Today I took it for emotional fullness and emptiness. Whole new worlds of meaning opened up for me.

I have a lot of learning to do in the school of contentment today.
Blessings

I have asthma, and for the most part, a well managed asthma condition. I learned the hard way a few nights ago not to take my breath for granted.
I had a scary asthma attack during the night and found myself waking up gasping and struggling to breathe.
Now of all the anxieties that plague me daily, I rarely feel anxious about breathing. It is just one of those things I take for granted. You probably do too.
The lungs do all the work, and I really don’t give them credit.
When I’m in my yoga class I think about breathing and moving with breath. And it’s in this yoga practice that I learned some techniques that probably saved me the other night during this terrifying asthma attack.
When you can’t get air, panic sets in and makes everything worse.
So the practice of breathing calmly through difficult poses helped me to turn the scary into manageable.
Almost instinctively, I started to try to breathe through my nose calmly. Exhaling completely, deeply as I could. It took awhile, but I began to breathe easier.
My lungs felt bruised for a whole day after this episode, so I was aware all day long of my lungs and my breath.
It was a good reminder that the most basic things in life are also the most essential. And sometimes its really all you need to do.
If you can’t breathe and you can’t breathe well, not much of anything else is really very important that day.
Don’t take your breath for granted. Thank your lungs today for the hard work they do every second of everyday of your life.
Learn to breathe properly. Most of us don’t.
Thank your yoga teacher. I did.
Blessings

Giggling like a little girl

On this bright sunny day I was out and about. It was a great day to be alive! (It still is). Anyway, I happened to find myself in a women’s accessories store while waiting to meet a friend for lunch. I enjoyed just looking at all the pretty and sparkly and shiny things. I witnessed a beautiful, mature woman giggling like a little girl while trying on a hat. She was with a friend who was giggling over dangling earrings.
It just blessed my heart to see these dear seniors, I’m guessing about 80 plus years old, just having a fun girlfriend day shopping and giggling.
That’s all. It was a beautiful moment on a beautiful day. Made me smile and dream. I want to plan to giggle like a little girl with my good friends when I’m an elder stateswoman.
It is said, grow old, but never grow up!

Reality Check

This morning I decided it was a good idea to start journaling my food intake again since getting over the flu and now I’m eating again.
Yikes. Reality Check! It is shocking at how quickly the calories add up. And that was just breakfast. It was a healthy breakfast. Well thought out and carefully prepared. But seriously more calories than I thought possible.
Now wonder the scale doesn’t move down very fast.
To keep my spirits up, must do a positive review.
In the past month: gave up diet pepsi addiction, joined a fitness center, meet with personal trainer once a week, 2-3 yoga classes per week, working out with weights at the gym, increased sweating workouts on the treadmill, drinking more water, eating more protein, and journaling about emotional triggers.
That’s pretty good progress in a month. *patting myself on the back*

Slow and steady progress. If anybody out there is reading this, please keep me accountable for journaling my food intake!!
I need re-inforcements 🙂

Detoxing the old fashioned way

Sooooo, I’ve heard a lot about these detox diets. I don’t get it. I just wait until I get the “nature’s detox” every other year. Otherwise known as the stomach flu. So the “detox” caught up with me the past few days in spite of hand washing, disinfecting wipes, lysol, and wearing my gloves in the stores while pushing a shopping cart.

There’s only so much you can do against these germs.

I really thought after the fast and furious creeping crud hit me this time I would have dropped 11 pounds. The scale is a cruel machine. Really cruel.

Well, anyway, I feel thinner. Weaker. Dizzy. Tired. Pale. And not too interested in food.
I’ll ride this gravy train as long as I can.

I’m sure my normal ravenous hunger is going to return with a vengeance and I’ll be fighting my usual battles soon.

Right now, I’m just easing back into life and food slowly. And my trips to the gym have added up to ZERO.

And when I go back to the gym, the disinfecting wipes are coming with me.

Yeah, I’m that weird.

Surviving the snow storm

Hello, yes, I survived the snow storm.  The one with the heaviest wettest snow I have ever shoveled in my life and I have lived in Wisconsin a lonnngggg time.  And boy, oh boy, did I ever shovel.

No need to go to the gym yesterday.  Two hours of hard shoveling and I think I burned at least 50 or 56 thousand calories.

I felt entitled to a cold diet soda break.  Even though I gave up diet soda and haven’t had any for over a week.

I poured that smooth elixer in a glass and drank a few pulls.  Poured the rest of the can down the drain.  It really didn’t taste all that great and I really didn’t want any more.

I count that a huge victory in the “changing behaviours” department.

On the other hand, my other hand found the chocolate chips in the baking cabinet and while one hand didn’t know what the other hand was doing, I shoveled a few handfuls of chocolate chips down the old gullet.

That’s called insanity!

Oh well, that’s my life right now.

Off to yoga to stretch out and relax all those snow shoveling muscles and to mediate about the chocolate chip shoveling incident.

Have a blessed day!

 

So Easy

So easy to get sidetracked.  So easy to get lazy.  So easy to grab a handful of this and that and not write it down.  So easy to eat in a hurry.  So easy to not even bother tasting and enjoying.  So easy to eat distracted.  So easy to say, oh bother, why bother?

I am sosoo like Winnie the Pooh:  Oh bother!  Give me the honey jar!

So hard to change patterns.  So hard to pay attention.  So hard to overcome inertia.  So hard to stick to it, every day.

So that’s one reason I’m writing this post.  To force myself to pay attention.  To stay on track.  To write things down.  To slow down.  To bother with it all.  Yes, it is a bother.  But the alternative is a bother too.

If I don’t at least try to stay healthy, I will eventually have to bother with illness and disability as I grow older.  If I don’t bother to strengthen the feeble knees and legs and arms and core, I will lose muscle and strength and become a burden.  I have to at least try to bother.

So today I am bothering with me.  I am choosing “easy does it”.  Nike says “Just do it”.   “Just do it” is not all that easy.  “Easy does it” is softer, but still does it.

The wisdom of scriptures says to be a doer of the word and not just a hearer.  Doing things today.  So easy.  One moment at a time.

Blessings!

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries