This is a new workout! Great for upper arms, lower legs, and everything in-between. Requires strength, flexibility, humiliation, and endurance.
It’s called: Wrestling with the Garden Hose.
Note: this excercise is not for the timid. You have to be willing to stand in the front yard for all your neighbors and passing cars to see.
You have to determine ahead of time that YOU WILL WIN, no matter what the hose throws at you.
It began with an old hose reel, a relatively new hose, and everything was leaking. And there was no sprayer. After careful inspection, I figured I could make do with the hose, but needed a new hose reel and a sprayer attachment. Maybe some new washers.
So a trip to Target and a new-fangled all plastic, durable hose reel was purchased.
I braved the front yard. I made sure I was wearing a shirt long enough to cover my backside and any undergarments that might be exposed while bending over. Remember, this is the front yard.
I began to unwind the hose from the old hose reel. This sounds incredibly easy. But, the hose had other ideas. It became the spawn of satan and began coiling and twisting and wrapping itself around my feet, like it had a mind and a will all its own.
I was not going to let the garden hose win.
I won’t traumatize you with the gorey details. I have bruises. That’s all I can say right now.
There were no instructions with the new hose reel. I was left to my own deductive reasoning to figure how the contraption all went together.
I did get wet, when after connecting everything and turning the water on . . . well I’ll leave that to your imagination.
I was not going to let the garden hose win. I retightened all connections. I wrestled that d***m hose onto the reel. It kicked, it squirmed, it fought back with a vengenance.
It looks really pretty now. Tamed, conquered by the human female.
I can barely move my arms today.
But it was so worth it. I won.
lifefullyinhabited 