So, I have decided to try something new.

February 20, 2013

I am taking another step in my journey through life, trying to live my life fully inhabited.  It seems to come so natural, the tendency to live unconsciously.  I need a jolt every now and then to bring back the awe and wonder that LIFE is, and dive deep into it.

So I have taken the next deep plunge into getting my body in shape for where my soul and spirit want to go.  Its a team ride, this ride through life.  All parts of me have to be willing to take the ride.  My body is holding me back.  It has been for a long time.  Let’s just say I’ve had a bad decade.

The good news is that its never too late to get on the ride.  And the body has willing traveling companions:  the soul and the spirit and the mind.

So hop on board the  fitness train.  Take this journey with me.  We’ll have some laughs, we’ll have some insights, we’ll shed some tears and hopefully lots of pounds of unwanted body fat.

I joined a fitness center.

I know, I’ve allowed myself to be talked into the deluxe package.  I’ve allowed myself to be talked into sessions with a personal trainer.  I know I’m probably being taken for a ride.

Cynicism is what I do best.  Along with beating myself up with guilt.

On the other hand, this could possibly be the smartest thing I’ve done for myself in a very long time.  I hope I survive the guilt of spending money on myself for what seems to be a gamble.

I need to see it as an investment in my health and well being.  I need to stop listening to the other messages in my head.  The little gnomes that hobble around on knarled feet and cackle that this is just something else I will fail at.

I hope to honestly record my ups and downs along this journey to a better, more fully inhabited life.  You may be inspired.  You may laugh.

I may be on just a lonely quest, just one desperate woman trying to find some hope and success in an area where failure and disappointment have been my only nurishment thus far.

Today I had a fitness assessment.

I met with my new “friend” : the personal trainer and nutrition consultant.  He’s a cute young thing.  He shall remain anonymous.  He seems every excited to help me transform.  He thinks I should track calories and eat more protein.  Sounds reasonable.  He also said I should switch to fat-free cheese.  I told him that’s like drinking non-alcholic beer:  WHAT’s the point!!???  Geez, I’m from Wisconsin.  We eat REAL CHEESE here!

I’ll try.  I’m not as excited as he is.  He obviously doesn’t have the decade of baggage of failure and the numerous decades of fighting extra poundage that I do.  It’s really and literally weighing me down.

I am, however, the kind of person that with even a shred of encouragement, can bounce up to optimistic quickly.

I’m hoping for a high protein kind of day!