For no particular reason. . . or “Forrest Gumping it” through the parkway

03 Nov 2012 Leave a comment

by lifefullyinhabited in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

For no particular reason today I decided to start running.  Well, okay, jogging.  Realistically it was like fast walk- shuffling, barely getting my feet off the ground one after the other.

So here’s what happened.  I was walking the dog, Twiggy.  We were on our usual Menomonee River Parkway trail.

There were few other humans in sight.

For no particular reason, I decided to pick up the pace.  Once I did, Twiggy must have thought, “Finally!!!” She went faster.  I tried to keep up with her.  Faster still she went.    She starting actually dragging me.

I tried to slow down.  I prayed that the good Lord would blind the eyes of anyone who caught sight of us.

I thought I might have an asthma attack.  I tried to slow down.  Then I realized I was keeping up with the Twiggster.

Please don’t think this was fun.  This was insanity.  I hate running.

When we got home, I thought I would try  “Forrest Gumping it” through a box of chocolates!  That’s really more my sport.

No chocolate in the house.

So I did what any reasonable human would do, I took a hot bath , some ibuprophen, and tried to regain my dignity.

If you happen to come across me someday on the trail getting dragged by a cute, fluffy dog, please have the decency to avert your eyes.

This will save both of us a lot of shame!

Wrestling With the Garden Hose

19 Apr 2012 Leave a comment

by lifefullyinhabited in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

This is a new workout!  Great for upper arms, lower legs, and everything in-between.  Requires strength, flexibility, humiliation, and endurance. 

It’s called:  Wrestling with the Garden Hose. 

Note:  this excercise is not for the timid.  You have to be willing to stand in the front yard for all your neighbors and passing cars to see. 

You have to determine ahead of time that YOU WILL WIN, no matter what the hose throws at you.

It began with an old hose reel, a relatively new hose, and everything was leaking.  And there was no sprayer.  After careful inspection, I figured I could make do with the hose, but needed a new hose reel and a sprayer attachment.  Maybe some new washers.

So a trip to Target and a new-fangled all plastic, durable hose reel was purchased.

I braved the front yard.  I made sure I was wearing a shirt long enough to cover my backside and any undergarments that might be exposed while bending over.  Remember, this is the front yard.

I began to unwind the hose from the old hose reel.  This sounds incredibly easy.  But, the hose had other ideas.  It became the spawn of satan and began coiling and twisting and wrapping itself around my feet, like it had a mind and a will all its own.

I was not going to let the garden hose win. 

I won’t traumatize you with the gorey details.  I have bruises.  That’s all I can say right now.

There were no instructions with the new hose reel.  I was left to my own deductive reasoning to figure how the contraption all went together.

I did get wet, when after connecting everything and turning the water on . . . well I’ll leave that to your imagination.

I was not going to let the garden hose win.  I retightened all connections.  I wrestled that d***m hose onto the reel.  It kicked, it squirmed, it fought back with a vengenance.

It looks really pretty now.  Tamed, conquered by the human female. 

I can barely move my arms today. 

But it was so worth it.  I won.

 

Small but Significant

30 Mar 2012 Leave a comment

by lifefullyinhabited in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

“I strive for a sense of optimism, a feeling that as small as I am, what I am doing still matters in the scheme of things.”

p. 41, Finding Water  Julia Cameron

As I start my Friday and head into the weekend I find myself reflecting on the past few weeks.  It seems like a flurry of activity.  Rain today makes decisions for me.  I must work indoors today.  That is okay with me, as there is plenty to do.

I plan to be aware again this weekend of the many beautiful things in my world and fill up another “basket of beauties”. 

The grass is so vibrantly green it nearly glows!  That is one beauty for my basket. 

Have you noticed the forsythias and flowering crab apples trees around town?  They are way ahead of schedule, just as eager for spring as we are.

The magnolia trees are in bud and ready to pop open any minute. 

petunias on the porch saying Good Morning

Two Piles of Mulch

22 Mar 2012 3 Comments

by lifefullyinhabited in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

Well the big pile of mulch arrived yesterday.  At first we just stared at it.  Then we walked around it to take it all in.  It smelled.  It smelled of rot, cedar, and manure.  I’m surprised the neighbors stayed indoors (written with sarcasm).  It didn’t look THAT big.  We could take on this pile of mulch.  It didn’t hurt that our strong, strapping twenty-something son showed up to change the oil in his car and felt sorry for us.  He went home and brought over another wheelbarrow and helped for almost two hours.

Two hours later, after “one shovelful at a time”, the pile looked about the same size!  I was starting to feel overwhelmed.

It’s all a matter of perspective.  If I choose to look at the areas where we applied the mulch, it looks beautiful.  Almost like professional landscaping.  Almost.  If I choose to look at the big pile of mulch still left, I feel defeated.  When I choose to dwell on how stiff and sore I feel this morning after shoveling, pushing the wheelbarrow, and raking, I think “I’m way too old for this”.

I have another “big pile of mulch” I’m dealing with in my life right now.  It’s fifty pounds of overweight.  I’m trying to get rid of it “one shovelful at a time.”  I’ve been attacking this pile for a month.  So far, seven pounds are gone.  Its one day at a time, one moment at a time, one meal at a time, one pound at a time.  Its one prayer at a time.  A big pile remains.

So, I have to keep a good perspective.  It’s easy to be overwhelmed with the pounds still to lose.  A lot of hard work and sweating will be involved.  When I choose to look at what seven pounds lost has done for me, its a beautiful thing.  Clothes are too big, I have more energy, I’m eating healthier, I feel better.

Here’s to the start of another great day of shoveling big piles of mulch “one shovelful at a time”.  I think getting rid of one pile will help me get rid of the other.  Lots of hard work and sweating is involved.  Anyone want to come and help?

Happy Sweating,

Vicki

P.S.  Remember:  sweat is just FAT crying!